"Turn Your footsteps toward the perpetual ruins; the enemy has damaged everything within the sanctuary." -Psalm 74:3
"Save me, O God, for the waters have threatened my life. I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." -Psalm 69:1-3
I didn't intend to deviate from the study of self-control, this morning, but I wanted to share something that the Lord has been showing me lately...
I have been going through some difficult times, this past week/weekend, and I have sunk deeper and deeper inside of myself. There is no darkness deeper and more attractive than that of self-pity... it is a cancer that eats away at your soul. I had allowed this darkness to creep in and eat away at the damaged areas of my soul. By damaged I mean, those areas that I have not trusted God with. There are several of these areas in which I was allowing myself to be swallowed by the enormousness of my troubles. They still cause pain, even now, when I dwell on them...
I have been reminded, though, of God's faithfulness. Thanks to the incredible wisdom from an unexpected source, whom I hold in highest esteem, I was reminded of the need to give everything over to God... to let go. And I was holding on! I was holding on tight, not willing to let go of the things that I loved, but that were destroying me from the inside out!
These Psalms that I have listed... they are truly the cry of my heart, right now! "I am sinking, but God! Hold me up! I can't do it without You... Turn Your footsteps toward the perpetual ruins that are my soul... my sins have damaged everything within this sanctuary. I need Your restoring power in my life... Your healing power, O God. I need You to be my All-in-All, Father..."
Have you been here before? Are you in this place right now? What darkness is eating away at your soul? Why? What steps do you need to take in order to fight this soul-eating cancer from within you? Friends, self-pity is a dangerous thing... it nearly took me last night... again, I'm so grateful for the wisdom of my friend! God puts people in our lives for a reason! Who is the voice of reason in your life? Who can help you fight the darkness that you are facing? The obvious and most reliable person is Jesus Christ, but I mean someone physically here on earth, that you could talk to and ask question. Find someone you can trust, and ask them to help you find the light again! Seek the light of day, the light of Jesus Christ, once more within yourself. Don't live in the darkness... nothing good can come of it.
I, personally, am going to be on a long road to recovery... I'm sure of it. There is no easy way out of this one! The day is practically just beginning, and yet I must already fall on my face and ask God to be my number one! I must, DAILY, call upon the Lord to be my first and foremost concern, to be my strength... to be my Healer. "O God, please hear the cries of my heart!"
Friends, I hope you believe me when I say that I am in absolute sincerity in my need for prayer, right now! I am crawling towards the light, but my tendencies are to slip back into darkness... I'm fighting this battle with all of my strength, but my strength alone is not enough! I need the strength of El-Shaddai, God Almighty!
If you are sinking in darkness, I beg you, cling to El-Shaddai! Cry out to God! Literally, cry out to Him! I took a drive, last night, and audibly cried out my frustrations and needs to God. Cry out to Him... Again, I would also encourage you to find someone, a godly influence in your life, and share your troubles with them. Seek godly counsel. I was amazed! I was just venting my frustrations to a person younger than me... and God spoke through her to bring me back to Himself! I felt like a child... but I was also acting like a child! Sometimes, though, we have to admit that we feel like a child... we are scared, frustrated, confused and don't know what to do. We need someone else to be our voice of reason. I certainly did!
Well, I hope this has encouraged you... to know that you're not the only one who goes through these struggles. I may not go through the exact same things as you, but there is someone who has... find that person and ask them to help you fight this fight. We need mentors... we need trainers in the battles of life. We were never meant to walk through life, all by ourselves, and figure out everything on our own. We are supposed to seek godly counsel.
Friends, may God be your light and your Redeemer through times of trouble. Seek His face! Don't dwell in the darkness... crawl! Run! Whatever it takes to get back to the light of Christ!
Grace and Peace!
Questions or Comments? E-mail me at afflquestions@yahoo.com .
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